Being A Neighbour

by Christian Gallardo

I grew up in an urban community within a modern world having a fast-paced lifestyle. Although my childhood seems relaxed, as I grew up, I realized that I have no other choice but to go with the flow and live such a fast-paced lifestyle because I don’t want to face the consequence of being a person detached of the world. Although I always say to the people around me that I’m living my life one point at a time- cherishing the present, the truth is, I’m always focused on the future. I’m afraid of the future because it is uncertain. And I bet, most of the inhabitants of this modern world are.

I guess that is the root point of being a “socious”. They are basically people stuck with their social roles, to the point that they way they relate to another is for a function. I cannot blame those people, including myself, for indeed, the future is frightening. And the world can be so cruel on those who have no clear well-planned future. Just imagine a life of not entering a university (Or any college) simply because one does not want to have planned life. Then afterwards, where shall one land? Sure, there are successful people who did not finish college. But most probably, one’s future will not be bright without a college diploma. And the story goes beyond planning one’s education. After that, there will be work; aging and retirement- all of which must be planned to go through smoothly. We just cannot deny the fact that we live with time. We cannot disregard the fact that someday we’ll be old and weak enough to work for ourselves, so we just have to have some plan. And we just need to prepare. If being a constant planner of life is a disease, then I guess it contaminated almost everyone.

Although being a socious seems like ideal in these times, it has a lot of hidden adverse effects. The most problematic of which is the tendency to become egoistic to gain pleasure. Since one cares only for one’s future, everything in the present goes back to the self. Every action is motivated by nothing other than the self. And what is the problem with that?

I can’t think of any logical reason why such is a problem, especially in the modern context where survival of fittest seems to be happening. But, I have an unexplainable personal problem with that. I notice that even though I gain something, and even though I give something, as long as the motivation of gaining or giving is related to me, I only experience a temporary satisfaction which shall be replaced quickly by a longing for another gain afterwards. And it seems like a vicious cycle. For example, when I study, I study merely to get high grades, so even though I get an A, I long for another one. And so and so forth.

But funnily, a strange thing happened to me yesterday. I donated money for the victims of the typhoon during the morning. Well, I hope no one judges me so hard at this point, but one of the reasons why I did so is that, aside from wanting to help my fellow countrymen, I just want to satisfy the guilt and the pity inside of me. So that every time I will look at the TV, I can say to myself, “Hey, I actually donated something! I guess I’m a good guy after all”. Then I could have my usual temporary satisfaction and go on with my life.

Yet, afternoon after that incident, I happened to pass by Covered courts to get something. Since I have a 2 hour break, I decided to pass by the Covered Courts in the Jesuit Residence to help in the repacking of goods for the Yolanda Victims. At first, all seems pretty normal. But then, after spending an hour and a half working on it, I began to think. Or feel. I felt a spark- something that I wasn’t able to feel for years. Something unexplainable mere words cannot describe. But perhaps the most accurate word for it is contentment. I left the repacking site contented for a rare time in my life. There seems to be solitude inside of me that seems to be still for once. For a rare occasion, there have been no questions or justifications after an act of goodness. No excuses or doubts to fill up. There’s just plain calmness.

Why? Because I just realized that I parted with one of the most important thing in my life- which is my time. I spent my time not for the gain of myself even a bit but for others. Not that I am saying that money or material offering is not worthy. Money is vital. But it can be regained once lost. Time, on the other hand, once spent, is lost forever. That’s why memories are highly valued right? Because time was actually paid for it.


But anyway, going back on my point, I guess even a “socious” can become “neighbour” sometimes. Actually, one must strive to become more of a neighbour because through which contentment is achieved- something way beyond the pleasure that temporary satisfaction can give. And I guess the best way to become a neighbour is to be ready to part with something that is of most value to you- be it material wealth, sentiments or time. At this point of time where the world is experiencing a lot of misfortunes, including my country which was just hit by a violent storm, I hope that we would all learn to really “give”- to give not just to satisfy the guilt or pity within us and to give without expecting for a repay someday. Give not because it needed by you but because it needed by someone else.