Musings and Visions

by Alix Apostolicas

9 July 2013
Discussed Text: Martin Heidegger, "What is Philosophy?"

It is sort of difficult for me to focus in general. One mention of another topic and my mind decides to jet off in that direction thinking in depth about one line when the lecture keeps moving forward. In a class like Ph101, one reading can have so many insights that Dr. Garcia always talks about many different topics in one class day, my mind is always going to a various number of places.

In math, there are many ways to solve a problem but there is only the 1 same solution. With philosophy and life, however, there are many paths but many destinations as well. A question that was raised was “Where do you see your life heading?” and this made me drift into a mini day-dream of what my life could have been and where it was heading.

I suddenly had the image of myself like Bree Van De Kamp, from the TV show Desperate Housewives. Could I possibly end up like the top homemaker in television? Always keeping the house prim and proper. Always throwing dinner parties. Always being the supporting wife. I had always thought of myself as the type of gal that would not be happy by simply staying home and taking care of theoretical children and I’ve actually thought I’d die unmarried but yet this was the first thought that popped into my head (perhaps because I had spent the morning before the class cooking breakfast and doing the dishes). I then had a thought that maybe if I had gone to school in Boston, like my original plan, I might have met a highly conservative Republican and we might have gotten married and the whole scenario could have been plausible.

Another image of myself in the future popped up into my brain. I saw myself in corporate attire dragging myself to my multinational corporation job (that I used my BS Management degree to get) each day. I imagined myself to be completely together on the outside and a complete wreck on the inside. I would be completely alone in a lavish apartment and completely unhappy. This was of course due to the influence of me watching an episode of Skins Series 7, where Effy works as a trader of stocks the night before.
Yet another vision of myself was as a happy 26/27 year old working in a TV studio, having a blast with a show I loved working on. I would be a producer of this amazing show that was even more amazing behind the scenes. I would have life long friends from this show that would run for 8-10 seasons. Then I would come home to a fiancé or a long time boyfriend. It’s ridiculous typing it out because I seem like this little girl imagining her wedding but these thoughts really did pop into my head, even though I’m against that kind of wedding planning. This vision was sort of my dream vision and it can only come true if I took certain steps after my time in Ateneo. Actually, that could only happen if I managed to keep on the path that I chose earlier this junior year.

All these musings and “visions” of myself came to me all in a minute. I don’t know why that question impacted me like that but I really do hope I manage to find and stay on a path that would get me to the destination of my choice.