Infinities

by Miguel Co

A long time ago, I was at a retreat. I had it during a time when I was still young, trying out new things, and exploring the world. It wasn't really that eventful, at least until the last night of the retreat. During that time, I was sitting on the grass, with my back behind the tree. Then for some reason, something strange happened. I felt like I heard a voice, and I was talking to it. I honestly didn't know what to make of it, but it was relaxing and soothing. At the end of the entire retreat, I was seized by a fulfillment that I really can't quite put into words.

Looking back at the experience, I think it was an experience with the infinite. It's something that's indescribable and yet completely real. This infinite was experienced by my finite self, but it's not something that I can comprehend or fully understand. Trying to cram this idea of infinite into me is like trying to fit a house into a small hole: it just won't fit. Therefore idea of this infinite must have come from someone who is also infinite: God. That's what it means when it's said that the experience of God is such that he's in me without me understanding him. I can't comprehend what happened, but I know it's real, that it exists, and that it's a beautiful feeling.

From this experience of the infinite, of a God, I think that it's something that I can't objectify. If I tried to objectify it, then I'd just be dissecting the experience until it's nothing more than an aftertaste. And I'd be missing out on some things: feelings, worries, joys, and inhibitions. There are just some things that are too precious to be objectified because when we objectify, we lose something precious. This idea would best be expressed in this quote:

"Numbers and figures should not speak as loudly as our hearts."

Last year for one of my projects I went with a group of people to a cooperative, an institution made to help uplift the lives of people in its vicinity. They were an institution that did make some money, but they didn't care about the money as much as the welfare of their members and the community where they resided in. Of course, they need money to help these people. They need material to help the spirit grow. It's not all about the money and the profits, but in the end it's about the people and those around us. This is what we risk losing when we completely objectify everything, and why instead of taking everything apart and pursuing everything with an objective approach, there is merit in approaching things and God as a mystery, and as a gift.