by Bits Penaranda
Last Thursday we discussed in class how it was important to simply do good, to be of service to others and to go out to them even if we do not know them. Although this is ethical, things are easier said than done.
The reason why most of us do not simply do the good as much as we want to, is because there is a demand of reciprocity. Whether it is a stranger, a close friend, or a sibling, we still expect something out of the service that we do for them. For example, if we do a friend a favor, we expect that they will do the same when we need them. There is a demand for our service to be reciprocated.
The reason why is not as superficial as it seems to be. The reason is because when we act in service to the other, we give our effort and time. This service becomes an investment in the other. By doing this, we give a part of ourselves in the other, and when we do that, this is where I believe totality steps into place.
Because the other holds a part of us that we have given to them, we indirectly claim them to be ours. Until we get the recognition of our service, they are kept captive by our expectations. We believe that they owe us something that we deserve, and that is the recognition, the part of us (the service) that we have given to them in the first place that we want to be returned. By simply acknowledging our good deed, we already feel that that is enough of a service towards us, thus making us feel satisfied because we feel “complete” once more.
But that should not be the case. The fact that we did agree or decide to do the good in the first place, means we are willing to be of service to the other. There is consent. We have surrendered ourselves, and as we have learned in class today, by doing the good we are also saying “me here for you”. For doing the good with expectations of getting something back in return isn’t purely good. By being available for the other, there should be no conditions, no judgments, and no boundaries. For the other is the infinite, an infinite we cannot grasp, we cannot totalize. Therefore, reciprocity should not be demanded because we do not have the right to do so, and if we do end up feeling miserable after doing good, then the only one we can blame is ourselves.
I think the main problem with reciprocity is that it's centered on the self. The question we always end up asking ourselves is, "What will I gain from this?" or "What's in it for me?" Somehow society has forgotten what we really should be asking which is, "What can I do for the Other?"
ReplyDeleteI agree that of course, it is difficult to strip away from our selfish needs. However, I still think that it is possible. Especially with the help of Philosophy, we can think more about the Other and less about ourselves.
Oops! Anika Leongson PH 102 C
ReplyDelete“The reality is that doing good unto others actually does more good for you.”
ReplyDelete― Richelle E. Goodrich
We give ourselves to the other not because of reward or recognition, but because we can and we want. And in the process of giving, we not only do good but we also reward ourselves of becoming more human for that is the nature of our being. Whenever we do good, our reward may not be of a material object but more of personal growth, we become more mature and more rooted to the others.
Mar Tan - PH 102 A
Reciprocity is something that we must never operate on. I agree with what you said that "if we do end up feeling miserable after doing good, then the only one we can blame is ourselves." It's weird to feel sad after doing good, but sometimes it happens to us humans. This is why Levinas emphasizes the importance of the Law of the Other. Sometimes decide to go on with doing something good because we think of karma - when we do good to others it will come back to us. It may be an effective motivation for the people in society to help each other out but essentially this is wrong. We must do good because we love the other, not because we expect it to come back to us.
ReplyDeleteCharlene Syliangco
PH 102 A
I agree with what you said that "The reason why most of us do not simply do the good as much as we want to, is because there is a demand of reciprocity." Sometimes it is indeed hard not to expect something in return maybe because we as human beings also want to be recognized by the other just as the Other wants us to recognize him as well. I agree on the fact that we should not expect things to return to us once we do something good otherwise it wouldn't be "good" at all but for me those simple thank yous and other acknowledgements also make us practice the law of the Other because through our thank yous and acknowledgements, we recognize this person who has done us good as Face. So, i guess this is the reciprocity that we look for as we too strive to be acknowledged just as Others strive to be as well.
ReplyDeleteFrenchi Baluyot PH 102 A
Looking for reciprocity while doing things for others is not bad, as most of us will surely expect something in return whether consciously or unconsciously when we did something for others, even a single "Thank you". And so when people do not acknowledge our deeds for them, we feel being "lamangated" by them that they don't show their humanity in them as we expected. But maybe we should ask ourselves first why are we in the first place counting our deeds? In this way we ourselves alternate the supposed meaning of the good act itself. We are supposed to help the others, not ourselves. When we say that the other has "lamangated" us. maybe we have been "lamangating" the others around us as well without our notice. So we can't really count everything around us, just like when we are getting angry at our parents for not giving us allowance for the week, we may say that they owe us that amount of money, without thinking that we actually owe them our life and everything of us. This is where the importance of Law of the Others comes in. We see things differently with different thinkings and perspectives. Thus perhaps with a different perspective we can see a wholy better and different world that lies just right behind each of us, waiting for us to discover it.
ReplyDeleteSection A
It's true how expecting something in return has become second nature to us. I guess it takes practice and a lot of time and effort before we get used to give/serve without expecting anything back.
ReplyDeleteWhich is probably why forgiveness is so hard to do; especially if it's not being asked from you. It seems bizarre to forgive when the offender hasn't even asked for forgiveness, but when we do, we become liberated. We're liberated from the anger and hurt and expectations of the person to ask forgiveness from us. So perhaps one way of becoming more 'other-centered' is to learn how to forgive persons--for the big and small mistakes they do to us, even if they don't ask for it. To forgive is to love. :)
PH 102
Section A
A Chinese Philosopher named Xunzi talked about the process that leads to selfless behaviour. He believes that the practice of rituals transforms someone’s motives and character. He explains that, through practice, a person will carry out a habit and no longer seek reward and through this, practice will evolve into an end in itself.
ReplyDeleteUsing this, I believe that it takes practice and repetition for one to realize the true nature of good actions.
Eventually, one will look passed reward and appreciate the goodness of doing good without expecting anything in return. It's like lighting a Chinese rocket just to see it soar up into the sky and blow up into pretty colors without expecting dinner to fall from the sky. It might take a while for a person to realize that watching it blow up in the air brings more joy than anything that comes along with its ignition.
Goking, Christopher
PH 102 - C
I agree with the connection you made with reciprocity and the totality view that man has. In this society, it is quite often to see people demanding others to reciprocate what they do no matter how small such acts may be. It seems as though we do certain deeds for others in the hopes that they will do the same to you in the future. This shows a very selfish perspective on life that is very much influenced by an individualistic and economical way of life. But as Levinas had pointed out, one should do deeds to the other selflessly, without asking anything in return. For so long, man has missed out the point why we experience the face, that is we are made aware of the other's presence and ergo disturbed to go out in service for others in hopes that they will do the same to other people without asking anything for return. This would eventually lead to a society that is other centered, which I believe would be a better place to grow in trust and harmony with the rest of society.
ReplyDeleteJohann Pe
Ph 102 Section A
Reciprocity is almost second nature to most of us. It's just how society brought us up, but then, this shouldn't be the case. We shouldn't wait for the recognition to help, and we shouldn't ask for anything in return when we help. when we help, it should be just because we want the best for the other or rather we want to help the other, not because we want to be able to say that I've helped or for any other rewards. Like what you said, "The fact that we did agree or decide to do the good in the first place, means we are willing to be of service to the other. There is consent. We have surrendered ourselves, and as we have learned in class today, by doing the good we are also saying 'me here for you'. " When we help, we need to be able to let our actions translate into "me here for you", it shouldn't be saying "me here for you just because you are here for me" or something similar.
ReplyDeleteTrixia Tan
Ph102 C
I think reciprocity is part of our culture that isn't easily broken. Even in school, we have christmas parties where the main event is the christmas exchange gift. Even in olden times, when one chief throws a celebration, he has to invite all the other chiefs in order to secure his invitation to the other chief's celebration. Reciprocity then was highly politicized and that's how it has been even today. A habit like that isn't easily broken but it doesn't mean that this kind of reciprocity doesn't connote a sense of "me here for you." Reciprocity can be proof of loyalty, faith, and evidence of "me here for you" among people who practice it.
ReplyDeleteJan Weslee Lim
PH102 C
Ateneo is a Catholic university. According to the New Testament, God has first loved us. And the way I understand it is that we have to respond to His call to love (from Th131). The love that is being referred to is agape, or a self-giving love. Here, we are tasked to love God as the greatest commandent, and to love neighbors as ourselves as the second greatest commandment. In a self-giving love, we do not expect anything in return. Just as as God have loved us first, He never expects reciprocation, for as finite beings, we can never fully reciprocate His love to us. But certainly, what we can do is to spread it to the others by experiencing them as Face.
ReplyDeleteKate Bonamy, Ph102 A
I agree that a lot of us fall prey to the expectation that the Other will reciprocate our good deeds. We often expect the Law of Karma to step into our lives when we need it the most but that's not the way life is. There will always be events that make us question the point of being good. We have to remind ourselves that although we have a choice to be selfish, to live solely for ourselves, happiness is only genuinely true when it is shared. They say that you haven't lived until you've done something for someone that he can never repay you for.
ReplyDelete-Genica Lim (C)