One slightly tipsy evening, I was struck with a thought. “I can never fully see myself.” What I see in the mirror is not me but rather, the light I am reflecting off into the mirror that bounces into my eyes. Optical nerves convert the light into electrical signals that travel into my brain, which encodes it into information, an image. Elementary science. Seeing my own physical appearance is simple enough. Science doesn’t really say anything more though. The guy I see in the mirror isn’t that bad looking, far from being an Adonis but decent enough. What I judge though is not myself but rather, a reflection of my self that I see. Any judgment is made on the basis of things outside my self.
The mirror speaks of my appearance- an objective reality. As we know, we are more than our objective realities. But how can I know what lies beneath my surface?
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I will not talk to you because I haven’t lost my mind (yet?). I will not hope that through some hocus-pocus, the mirror will reveal to me whether I am good or bad. No, to find my inner self, I must go outside of myself. I must look at the Other. As I look around me, what can I say of the people around me? Are they happy? Do they despair? Have I a hand in their happiness or in their despair?It is perhaps through this type of questioning that I can find my self.
I know now that I exist. Here I am in the world, interacting with it, and being aware that I am in it. What luck!But now I must ask, how do I exist? Have I done good for the world or did I make the world good for me? I have an ideal identity of myself in mind but it is only through seeing how I interact with the world can I approximate how much I resonate to my ideal.
I think of one of the prayers Doctor Garcia recites before class.John Donne’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls”, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."
I am in the world. Everything I do has an effect. Everything that I do not do also has an effect. Many suffer unjustly. Many abuse power. Many die in vain. I am partly at fault because of my actions or lack thereof. Every second that I allow to pass where the Other suffers is an opportunity lost. I am part of the problem but I believe that awareness of my responsibility and accountability to humanity is the first step to my taking part in a solution. And in taking part in a solution, I believe that I move closer to my ideal identity. An identity that is good.
"I am in the world. Everything I do has an effect. Everything that I do not do also has an effect. Many suffer unjustly. Many abuse power. Many die in vain. I am partly at fault because of my actions or lack thereof."
ReplyDeleteI believe this resonates our first semester discourse on consciousness, that consciousness is always directed towards something outside of itself. Yes, we are all conscious human beings, at least in the most organic sense--we think, breathe, eat, sleep. However, the more questionable aspect of our consciousness is its intentionality. To whom do we direct our consciousness? And more importantly, for whom does it graduate to action?
It is in this transition that simple awareness of the Other matters most. The Other is not only your sister, seatmate, or friend. The Other is a child buried beneath rubble in the conflict-ridden Middle East or the lady who sleeps on the Katipunan overpass. We must make a conscious effort to know the Other. As Rucha writes here, "I am part of the problem but I believe that awareness of my responsibility and accountability to humanity is the first step to my taking part in a solution."
Since you spoke about “What I see in the mirror is not me but rather, the light I am reflecting off into the mirror that bounces into my eyes...” here’s an anecdote from a long past science class. Back in high school, a Jesuit who knew much about astronomy, explained to us how light’s finite speed affects how we view our universe. Scientifically speaking, we see faraway things, like stars, as they “were”. So, we look at an object back to the time when the light was first emitted.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is also how we tend to see others in a “negative light”- the way they “were”, the way they used to treat us etc. Our rash judgement confines them to their past, as we block our vision to the “light” they offer to emanate anew. Shouldn't we try to make a conscious effort to show our true person, our authentic soul, the “light” that ought to be dispersed that reflects our true, inner being?
I really like what you said at the start. "I can never fully see myself." Though you mean this in the literal sense that you can't see who you truly are by looking into a mirror, I do think this is true in all senses. I mean like, even if you keep reflecting and reflecting, you will never ever reach that point where you completely know who you are. We always change. We always discover something new about everything around us and even in us. In that sense, I guess our whole life, we'll always be searching for who we are. We can never truly see who we are completely.
ReplyDeleteLica Lee
PH102 A
Indeed as we have always discussed in class, we are never only a being, but always a being with and for others. And I agree with what you said in the last paragraph. Knowing all these things poses a responsibility to us to care for our world and the people living with us. And we have no right to only blame others for whatever bad is happening. We are all partly to blame because we are all living together in this world.
ReplyDelete- Russell Virata
Ph102 C
Whenever I read the word "mirror," I can only think of the scientific explanation behind why we cah never see ourselves. -_- :)) I'd like to think that my actions always do good to others; although, of course, this is not always the case. But, isn't this what life is all about? Making mistakes and learning from them? We can never know what is 100% right and good for us; we always need to take that leap, to make a decision that will change everything. I know that not all of my decisions are good; in fact, they sometimes even harm other people, although this is not my intention. But, as I learn, the world and the people around me also learn. I am not left behind. Cliche as it may sound, "we are all in this together." Nobody is to blame and we just keep on growing and growing, as growth is something that never ends.
ReplyDelete-M. Cua, Ph102 A