Over Christmas, we discussed that if something is asked for, it is not truly a gift. A gift is something willingly given without the desire of receiving something back. It's funny that we pride ourselves with the most warm Christmas season in the world yet we practice gift giving in a completely peculiar way.
It's always rubbed me the wrong way how we have the saying "palibre naman" or "pa-blowout". I know not everyone is guilty of this but I have noticed it happening around me quite a lot. During people's birthdays, instead of thinking of what to do for them, we bombard them that with those sayings. We turn their special days into something that we can benefit from. Even someone becomes quite fortunate with something, we immediately ask for a treat. '
I've been very fortunate that I had one of the most amazing marketing professor. Our prof would actually treat us to food sometimes during class. It got to a point where people expected it and sadly towards the end of the semester people would actually chime "palibre" during class and I would just cringe.
In my JEEP, even if I had prior intentions of bringing Jollibee already for my co-workers, the fact that the other Ateneo student treated them was brought up changed my viewpoint on my libre. Instead of just a celebratory lunch, it turned into "Oh no. I think they expect me to treat them and they will be disappointed if I don't."
And even classmates pointed out that they've experienced times when they give gifts to their friends and their friends were sad because "now they had to give something back". Even if it's just a cultural thing and we are only half joking most of the time, our whole concept of libre and gift giving is getting more warped. We are sometimes guilty of making things more impersonal. A Christmas gift becomes a burden to return. We no longer see it as a gesture or see it as a sign of love from the giver. A free lunch becomes a request or a cultural obligation and no longer a token of gratitude. Other peoples' birthdays make us wonder what they could do for us and not the other way around. Instead of the experience being great for the people sharing it, we are sometimes guilty of forgetting about the other with the experience. We centralize the experience and it no longer is an ex-perience as it's all internal.
It's our culture but it is just odd to me.
This is linked to our culture of utang na loob. It's because we see the things that other people do as something that we need to reciprocate that we fail to acknowledge that we do not need people to reciprocate to be. We should do things just because we want to help other people and not because we need recognition or some sort of acknowledgment from the other.
ReplyDeleteTrixia Tan
Ph102 C
After seeing this title, I was reminded of this Filipino habit where they always vulture out on opportunities where they can get freebies or ride on certain events or occasions. Panlibre naman is something we'd often hear after someone gets an A, has a birthday, sees 10 one hundred peso bills in a friends' wallet, and the like.
ReplyDeleteI think its become part of our culture, or im just being prejudiced, to take advantage or hop on the cozier boat.
I think I strayed away from the context, but it's just something that passed my mind when I read your title.
To be honest, I see this happening a lot in my life as well.
ReplyDeleteThe concept of "Palibre" should come from the person (to whom they are shouting this to) himself/herself. It is like what Sir was saying about a person claiming he his humble. When a person claims that they are humble, it totally contradicts the idea and isn't so humble anymore. With the "Palibre" concept, although it is merely calling out the person to treat everyone, it shouldn't be something that you steal from the person who is truly the only one who has the right to say such a thing.
Bits Penaranda
PH 102 A
I think when we have this mindset of "palibre" or "pablow-out", we are taking the Other for granted, as if we can control what they think and do. We treat them as prise instead of surprise, and in the end it all goes back to us. It's an interestedness in the self. I guess what we're being called to do here is to be dis-interested, to care about the Other and experience them as Face instead of reducing them to means to get things.
ReplyDeleteMiguel Co
PH102 A
I partly disagree on what you've said about the "palibre naman" culture. Sometimes people like to say this during their friends' birthday, not foe the reason that they like to get something from their friend, but it's like becoming a way of saying happy birthday to them. It's the "saying" that I think most of us actually want to say by saying "libre naman diyan", However, what these words meant for the birthday boy/girl might be different, he/she would begin to think that his/her friends are so materialistic and only want to get something from them. This other party has a chance of interpreting the "saying" as the objective "said".
ReplyDeleteSo.... maybe you can bring some foods for your co-workers to express a piece of your love and care for them.
Wai Yiu So (A)