Wasting Time With The People

by Jeanne Peralta

This morning we had a brief run-through of the whole course when we reviewed the thesis statements. As I went through the day, I had experiences that made me reflect, and they eventually led me to realize how people play a significant role in our lives by simply being there for us. It makes sense now why Levinas gave so much importance to the Other, or the people around us; the people we encounter. To me, the point about the importance of the Other in our lives finally hit home.

You see, I’ve always been the type of person who’s very conscious of her time. I was always aware of the requirements I need to pass, the exams I have to study for, and in my mind I would schedule every part of my day and see how I can accomplish my deliverables as a college student. I knew I was the type who needed a lot of preparation time for anything, and I become anxious when I feel like I haven’t prepared enough for a certain test or spent as much time to reflect and write a good paper.

In the second semester of my sophomore year I had half-day classes everyday, and I took this opportunity to spend my afternoons reading the required readings, writing papers and reviewing for exams—almost every day. I skipped having block lunches and bonding with my peers, because I would always think of the extra work I can accomplish if I skip bonding time. I felt that my hard work paid off because I got good grades. I felt responsible and accomplished. But sooner than I expected, I became lonely. One afternoon when I decided to rejoin my block for lunch, I felt a certain distance I didn’t realize I had created. I haven’t spent as much time with them as I used to, and now they have formed a sort of clique I know I can’t be part of. Looking back, I remembered something Sir Garcia mentioned in class, “sometimes, you need to waste time with people.” You can’t always withdraw yourself to do ‘useful’ work; you need people and ‘distractions’ to keep you sane and happy.

Last semester I had a mirror experience of having almost no regular interaction with my block mates. Being in third year, we had fewer classes in common, and often I’d find myself alone during lunch, finishing long history readings by myself. Yes I had a lot of time by myself to finish the things I needed to do, but most of the time, I wasn’t so happy. In class I learned that there’s a philosophical term for being sad when you’re alone, that is, “The Solitude of Being.”

Even though I’m an introvert, I’ve discovered that what gives me energy and that sense of “being alive” is spending time with people. I noticed that during the days when I had a lot of ‘people interactions’, those are the days when I’m most happy. This semester proved to be lot better than the previous ones because I had a regular group of lunch buddies. We belonged to the same classes before and after lunch almost everyday, so we’d spend most of our lunch breaks together. Some of them were my block mates, others my course mates. Besides eating lunch, we crammed papers together; we loved playing UNO cards; we reviewed each other for orals, but most of the time, we just talked about ourselves and life in general. Little by little we got to know more about each other;

what food this person likes or is allergic to; what movies we enjoyed watching in common; what plans we had about family and marriage and even what characteristics we’re looking for in our future spouse. We also talked about the heartbreaks, the sensitive issues, and the things that mattered a lot to us.

Whenever one is absent from the group we’d always ask where he/she is; in short, we became clingy to one another. And a while ago as we were having lunch, I realized that this may just be the last lunch we’ll have together this semester. We’re already finished with most of our classes; all that’s left are final papers and exams. I don’t know what classes we will be in next semester, or if we’ll have common breaks to have lunch dates like these again.

It struck me how time flies so fast, and I became sentimental (though I kept it to myself). I realized how grateful I am for these people I got to spend time with. Their company had kept me sane throughout the hell weeks we’ve survived this semester; their words of encouragement helped me go on when I was at my lowest; their presence gave me the assurance that I’ll always have people to hold on to for support, and I did the same for them.

Conversations with them always take me by surprise, because I get amazed at how talented or how good or how loyal this person is. It’s true what Levinas says, that the other will always reach out to us and surprise us, taking us out of ourselves. We can’t live by ourselves, and we don’t simply live for ourselves. We’re created as social beings for a reason. Though we have our own rich interiorities, there will always be gaps that the Other can fill through our encounters with them. Sometimes when we’re too tired, it takes people to remind us of our worth because we cease to see it ourselves. And sometimes, especially during the difficult moments, their company is all we need.

All of these things reminded me how we should be grateful for every single person in our life, and the time we get to spend with them—because we don’t know what circumstances will be like the next time. We may never get to interact with them the way we do now. As the quote reminds us, “you may only pass this way once.” It’s good to be reminded that there’s more to life than fulfilling requirements; more importantly, life is about relationships. Every encounter with people is unique in itself. Every moment is a gift.

“When you spend time with people, it’s never wasted time.”