In my browsing online, I came across a tumblr blog online called the "Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows", which features original words created by a man. One of these words is called 'apomakrysmenophobia', and the meaning is as follows:
apomakrysmenophobia1
n. fear that your connections with people are ultimately shallow, that although your relationships feel congenial at the time, an audit of your life would produce an emotional safety deposit box of low-interest holdings and uninvested windfall profits, which will indicate you were never really at risk of joy, sacrifice or loss.
This word is very evident from what I've seen and experienced. Throughout our lives we interact with a lot of different people. Some of them are friendships whereas others are work related. From our interactions with these people, we sometimes end up taking them for granted, as if they were part of the background, the scenery. Sometimes we laugh, we cry, we get mad with them. But at times, we aren't really into what we're doing with them. Sometimes, we aren't touched or we don't let ourselves be affected by what touched them, what impacted them. We just nod and take our time with them for granted.
The scary thing is that when we look back at these times and we realize that we weren't really invested in what we went through, it feels so lonely. This is my take on what is called "the solitude of being". We end up just looking at our point of view, what we take from events, and our connections with people all go back to us. Maybe that's why we think that our connections with people are ultimately shallow.
The teachings that Levinas is espousing may provide an insight in order to escape this feeling of "apomakrysmenophobia". When we go outside of ourselves and not just dwell on our perspectives on things, we end up having a bigger perspective of things. We look at other people and invest our time and connect with them on a deeper level; we experience them as Face. This goes beyond the superficial but relates to the person as a fellow human being. We choose to be responsible for the Other and do our best to be there for them. Of course if we do this, we are putting a lot of faith and trust in them, and they may not necessarily reciprocate. However in doing this, we form meaningful relationships with people and we understand who we are more clearly.
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1Koenig, John. Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. N.p.. Web. 13 Mar 2014.
Well, that's a new word to me.
ReplyDeleteBut it does pose a very real and very understandable fear to me. And I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one that feels this way about the concept this word brings up. As people, we can label our relationship with others and establish in our minds, a certain level to each of these relationships. However, in the end, these are often only one sided and according to our own perspective only. We may think ourselves as a "something" to this someone, but do they feel the same way about us? We hold this illusion or presumption of a status with the other, but it's not really something we can verify, and thus we are haunted by this worry that maybe our relationship with another isn't the way we think it is.
And just like you, I feel that this is where Levina's focus on the other shines best. This field of uncertainty, it revolves on the other. But at the same time, the clarification and release from this uncertainty lies in the other as well.
- Jul Constantino PH102 C
Thank you for teaching me a new word. :)
ReplyDeleteLike you, I also think that what Levinas wanted us to understand is how we need to experience the other as face, how we need to reach out of ourselves to be able to see and understand everything more. It is also through understanding and experiencing the other as face that we learn that reciprocity is not being for the other. Thus, it is imperative that we learn to really be there for the other in a deeper level, in the level of Face per se.
Trixia Tan
Ph102 C
I do agree that sometimes we do take people for granted as we do not see the value of the time we spend with Others. Sometimes, we do not even appreciate the time they give to us because maybe it is taking up our own and view this as wasted time. I think that this is why sometimes we do feel lonely because everything does come back to us like what we can get from them if we spend time with them. This is why I think the Law of the Other is precisely about self-sacrifice as we need to sacrifice what is most hard to give up in order for us to truly not be self-centered.
ReplyDeleteFrenchi Baluyot A