I remember a friend talking to me about his classmate in another school. "Ang yaman nun! (He's rich!)," he said. "Biruin mo, may sarili siyang mundo! (Imagine, he owns his personal world!)" Sarcastic and insulting as it may seem for many, especially for the classmate, I actually find it fascinating. I find all these fascinating! That there exist "many worlds"; that human beings can actually be as "rich" as owning a personal world; that prince charmings' promise of giving the world to their princesses is possible. But of course, no princess actually took this LITERALLY!
The existence of "many worlds" does not point to weirdness, selfishness and exclusivity. It does not reduce the world to a plain object that we can possess. It refers to our differing perceptions and the varying meanings and values we lay unto things. It relates to Marcel's idea of human beings as both mind and body. We physically exist in one common world, yet, we spiritually dwell in many. I believe this is already clear to everyone. And since I already mentioned prince charmings and princesses, I also realized that romantic relationships are the perfect illustration of the existence of many worlds.
Men and women are naturally different. They look at the same things differently, prioritize different things, rejoice over different things. What one deems important, one might see as trivial. What is meaningful for one is meaningless for the other. My Theology professor told us that men's way of thinking is like a bar of chocolate, they are at one box at one point in time; while women think spaghetti, we think about everything all at the same time. It is amazing how women see ruby, crimson and bloody red, while men simply see red. Studies say that men generally regard themselves more good looking than they actually are while women behave exactly the opposite. I remember, in freshman year, I was so excited about Ateneo being uniform-less. I can wear anything I want! I can be as comfortable as I can be in my shirt and shorts in school! How cool is that. However, my boyfriend disapprove of wearing "unappropriate" clothes to school and any other public place unless I am with my parents. He is particularly worried about perverts, especially that I commute to school. It was comfort on my side versus safety on his. The list goes on and on. Nonetheless, this is not about who is right and wrong. Two very different worlds exist and collide in every relationship and yet, I wonder why relationships still do exist.
It was asked many times in class how we are ever going to arrive to settle with an absolute truth if each of us perceives things differently. I wondered about it too. But I realized, how come the collusion of two very different worlds is possible in romantic relationships? Why will I ever find meeting a stranger with completely different beliefs difficult if I, myself, is in a relationship with a person also different from me? Indeed, existence is two things:
1.) To exist is to be a particular person with unique characteristics which we share in common with others. No matter how far a man and a woman go towards both ends of the pole, there will always be something in common between them that will remain. The truth that they love each other remains that pulls them back to the center.
2.) To exist is to be in dialogue with others. Relationships work their way past differences through communication. It praises, reprimands, heals, moves and overwhelms. Probably, successful relationships and marriages are the living and greatest testaments of the power of dialogue.
These meanings of existence should apply to general relationships, but my point here is working out differences in the many worlds that exist among human beings should not be that hard as long as romantic relationships and marriages exist. If two very different human beings can go as far as establishing a lifetime union, establishing peaceful coexistence among all human beings is not impossible. Relationships and marriages, and even friendships, are the micro of the macro (among nations) we want to achieve. Going back to my previous example, does not that "giving the world" to your loved one mean giving up your "own world" to give him/her everything he/she desires? The same is what we need in our general interactions with random people -- giving up our "own worlds" to try to understand others'. In class, I first found it very unrealistic to simply answer "dialogue" to the problem of differing perceptions. Now, if it is possible in romantic love, it is possible in anything.
First of all, I agree with your boyfriend with the clothes thing! haha
ReplyDeleteAnyways moving on, I really liked your blog, I liked how you put in your own love life in it. You helped me realized the importance of dialogue more. I guess in every kind of relationship being with friends, loved ones, and even strangers communication is important. I guess in order to follow Marcel's indubitable truth we all have to keep communicating with others in order to truly exist in this world with others. Thanks for this blog!
I believe that if we all think that every person has his own world, then this world is an example of the broken world Marcel is talking about but when we look at it the way you look at it, like having different views and values then it is okay because we really have different backgrounds that lead to different views. Also, like you said, if we were able to work out the difference, to be in dialogue, then we can sort of fix this broken world and coexist in this world.
ReplyDeleteDiane Cheng (C)
I agree with you when you stated that romantic relationships are the perfect example for the existence of different worlds. Everyone we know has his or her own world, but the similarity of their worlds and ours may differ in accordance with how we are related to them. For instance, it might be easier for us to understand and coexist in the worlds of our parents, siblings and friends. We see these people daily. We might like and dislike the same things, and we might know each other for a very long time. But to coexist in the world with your romantic partner (who may become your husband or your wife) takes a higher level of junction and commitment. Misfortunes in marriage as such fights, divorce and separations show us precisely that different worlds exist. A successful romantic relationship may be when we let the boundaries of our worlds collapse fully to let the other in and also let ours flow out.
ReplyDelete- Laura Hein (A)
One of the lines you wrote that I really liked was, "The truth that they love each other remains that pulls them back to the center." I think that this is such an important thing to remember, not just in romantic relationships, but even in our relationships with our friends, family, and even strangers. I agree that all of us have different worlds and this makes each of us unique, but this also means that there will be many things that we will disagree on. But ultimately, at the end of the day we must remember that what we have in common, our humanity, is what brings us together. Through this, we can hopefully learn to respect others fully, and to learn to see people for who they are, and not just their function or what they can do for us.
ReplyDeleteKathleen Sun (A)
I agree with how you explained the existence of many worlds within a shared one, and I like how you explained it in a way that's clear and understandable. Except, I'm not so sure about what you said on gender, hahaha. You put that under me existing in a different world, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI once went to a talk by Dr. Sylvia Claudio of the UP Center for Women's Studies. Asked on her view of gender, she said that she didn't agree with having expectations of other people based on their biological sex, and I'm inclined to agree with her. That comes from experience - I've been put at a disadvantage by other people because of their judgments on me based on the fact that my body isn't that of a male. Since I'm a girl, I'm expected not to be as assertive, as logical, as reasonable as men, which I think isn't fair, especially considering that I'm planning on pursuing law after philosophy. From the picture you posted: I sometimes feel like I have nothing to wear, but I also find that sometimes I have nothing to play. :)
I like your point about relationships in general, though. They are a meeting of "different worlds", and the fact that people are able to communicate and sort of "share" their world points to the fact that working out differences is possible.
- Veronica Jereza (C)
I completely agree with what you said about using dialogue as a means to bridge the gaps that is created because of our different perception, because as what we have discussed in the past, broken world arises because of our lack of communication with others.
ReplyDelete"We physically exist in one common world, yet, we spiritually dwell in many." This is such a seemingly complex statement that is just true in every word. Because, how can we think similarly when we all have different experiences? The way we are creative, the way we think, and the way we act is different, even twins can't be fully be similar to the point of having no identity.
Trixia Tan (C)
I think that loving someone does not necessarily mean you should "give your world" to your loved one. I think too much giving burns you out on the inside and makes you hollow, and too much taking makes you overdose on it and isn't healthy either. What we have to do is to give and take equally, learning when to give and take. As human beings who exist in the world with others, we need to learn to coexist harmoniously and even be with the other. We need philein, or "pakikipagsama" and exist in unity with the other. Only then can we learn and grow.
ReplyDeleteMiguel Co (A)
I agree with this blog and I like how Nicole was able to connect "many worlds" into romantic relationships. Indeed, men and women think differently, yet they still have something in common. I also agree that conversations play a very important role in this world. It is through the use of words that we are able to beautifully express our feelings.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I think that the existence of "many worlds" may also apply to other situations and to other kinds of relationships -even among strangers. People are driven or frightened by different things. We all have our own different worlds. But we as part of a bigger world, must seek to co-exist and live in harmony with others. And in order to do that, we must first realize that there is something, a world, that is much bigger than ours.
Vikha Vargas PH101-C
I found your blog post very interesting :) and I completely agree that men and woman do indeed see things very differently. Maybe perhaps this is because each person sees things through a different perspective and each person holds to themselves a different set of values. However, despite this particularity among individuals, we can find ourselves in complete universality as well. I do agree with what you said how despite this differentiality, there will always remain one thing that pulls people together and this may be love but it can also be how we fundamentally exist and all strive to be human. It is actually finding ourselves in this order of things, how we love the "philein" and "sophon" of Marcel wherein we recognize that we are in perfect harmony with others in this world despite our differences.
ReplyDeleteFrenchi Baluyot (A)
1.) To exist is to be a particular person with unique characteristics which we share in common with others. No matter how far a man and a woman go towards both ends of the pole, there will always be something in common between them that will remain. The truth that they love each other remains that pulls them back to the center.
ReplyDeleteI think in the context of your blog and line, our difference is what brings us closer together. Our differences, whether its about our gender, perspectives, perceptions or values--- the fact remains that it unites us as a whole. It unites us as beings in the world. And the small interactions and connections that we make out of it affirms our totality as human beings. As Marcel says, "All beings is in beings". The comment above, that speaks about philein and sophon is also correct. We live through our differences, but then even if we move through life with our own uniqueness, we are still the same. We are still the same people searching through life. The same people venturing into their own life odysseys and making sense of life as it is. :)
Denise Tan (A)
I really like how you were able to associate romantic relationships with your lesson. Men and women definitely think differently. Based on experience, men usually see things black and white while women see an entire rainbow. My English professor told us that he can easily tell a student's gender by the way he forms his sentences. Men are usually very direct to the point while women like to use a lot of metaphors, forming longer sentences. At first, I thought that this would mean that women would get a better grade since their sentences had more "meaning". But then i remembered that the most popular authors of all time are mostly men! I realized that we may all have different ways of perceiving and communicating our thoughts but there isn't one exact formula to write an A-worthy paper. Just like life, there are just a lot of right ways to do it. The beauty of our Truths lie in its differences. It's all about finding a common ground and learning to work with each other.
ReplyDeleteGenica Lim (C)
Like the others, I found this post interesting too :) I think our differences are what brings us together. If people were too similar, we would clash. Building relationships lie in our differences because there is give and take. Through this we also learn how to understand. It is important that we accept our loved ones - we have to accept their qualities, opinions, and flaws because it is what makes them themselves. Just like Dr. Garcia said, when we have said "I love you simply because you are you," then we have created a seamless reciprocity with the person.
ReplyDeleteCharlene Syliangco (A)