I remember a friend talking to me about his classmate in another school. "Ang yaman nun! (He's rich!)," he said. "Biruin mo, may sarili siyang mundo! (Imagine, he owns his personal world!)" Sarcastic and insulting as it may seem for many, especially for the classmate, I actually find it fascinating. I find all these fascinating! That there exist "many worlds"; that human beings can actually be as "rich" as owning a personal world; that prince charmings' promise of giving the world to their princesses is possible. But of course, no princess actually took this LITERALLY!
The existence of "many worlds" does not point to weirdness, selfishness and exclusivity. It does not reduce the world to a plain object that we can possess. It refers to our differing perceptions and the varying meanings and values we lay unto things. It relates to Marcel's idea of human beings as both mind and body. We physically exist in one common world, yet, we spiritually dwell in many. I believe this is already clear to everyone. And since I already mentioned prince charmings and princesses, I also realized that romantic relationships are the perfect illustration of the existence of many worlds.
Men and women are naturally different. They look at the same things differently, prioritize different things, rejoice over different things. What one deems important, one might see as trivial. What is meaningful for one is meaningless for the other. My Theology professor told us that men's way of thinking is like a bar of chocolate, they are at one box at one point in time; while women think spaghetti, we think about everything all at the same time. It is amazing how women see ruby, crimson and bloody red, while men simply see red. Studies say that men generally regard themselves more good looking than they actually are while women behave exactly the opposite. I remember, in freshman year, I was so excited about Ateneo being uniform-less. I can wear anything I want! I can be as comfortable as I can be in my shirt and shorts in school! How cool is that. However, my boyfriend disapprove of wearing "unappropriate" clothes to school and any other public place unless I am with my parents. He is particularly worried about perverts, especially that I commute to school. It was comfort on my side versus safety on his. The list goes on and on. Nonetheless, this is not about who is right and wrong. Two very different worlds exist and collide in every relationship and yet, I wonder why relationships still do exist.
It was asked many times in class how we are ever going to arrive to settle with an absolute truth if each of us perceives things differently. I wondered about it too. But I realized, how come the collusion of two very different worlds is possible in romantic relationships? Why will I ever find meeting a stranger with completely different beliefs difficult if I, myself, is in a relationship with a person also different from me? Indeed, existence is two things:
1.) To exist is to be a particular person with unique characteristics which we share in common with others. No matter how far a man and a woman go towards both ends of the pole, there will always be something in common between them that will remain. The truth that they love each other remains that pulls them back to the center.
2.) To exist is to be in dialogue with others. Relationships work their way past differences through communication. It praises, reprimands, heals, moves and overwhelms. Probably, successful relationships and marriages are the living and greatest testaments of the power of dialogue.
These meanings of existence should apply to general relationships, but my point here is working out differences in the many worlds that exist among human beings should not be that hard as long as romantic relationships and marriages exist. If two very different human beings can go as far as establishing a lifetime union, establishing peaceful coexistence among all human beings is not impossible. Relationships and marriages, and even friendships, are the micro of the macro (among nations) we want to achieve. Going back to my previous example, does not that "giving the world" to your loved one mean giving up your "own world" to give him/her everything he/she desires? The same is what we need in our general interactions with random people -- giving up our "own worlds" to try to understand others'. In class, I first found it very unrealistic to simply answer "dialogue" to the problem of differing perceptions. Now, if it is possible in romantic love, it is possible in anything.
