13 December 2012
Disccused Text: Levinas, "Love and Filiation," Ethics and Infinity
“There is continuity in discontinuity”. As I was listening to Dr. Garcia’s lecture last Thursday, it was these words that struck me the most. I remember as a kid growing up, my parents were subtly suggesting possible careers for me to take. There was always that pressure to conform since some parents want you to also follow their career paths. My father was always telling me when I was younger: “Why don’t you take business? I took that course in college, and you can make lots of money in business.” Although it’s very possible to earn a lot through that career, I wasn’t quite sure if I would enjoy business as much as he did.
When I was in 4th year high school, it took me several months and sleepless nights to decide what I wanted to take up here in the Ateneo. I finally realized that taking up AB Communications was the right choice because of the way it fits my personality and interests. It was clear, business just wasn’t for me. I don’t like numbers, graphs, or statistics, however; I do love money. I have nothing against business, but I believe it’s just not for me.
When I told my dad that I was going to take this course in college, I was expecting him to feel a little disappointed, but to my surprise he didn’t. He told me that “You’re old enough to decide on your life and that I will respect any decision you make”. In class, Doc G stated that “To be a father you must be able to recede at the background; you can’t always stay at the center”. My dad already acknowledged the fact that I am an adult now, and that he cannot tell me what to do with my life. He was also happy to know that I am unique and do excel in different aspects compared to him. I might not have become a businessman like him, but I will always be his son, and that aspect will never change.
I also learned that Levinas was just not talking about the biological relationships when he was discussing paternity or fraternity. It’s kind of like how people significantly fulfill these supposed roles of a father, mother, brother, sister, etc. This can be applied not only to our friends but to everyone we meet. An example would be whenever we go out on these outreach programs to the less fortunate, we listen to them, talk to them, interact with them, share our blessings, but most importantly share a special bond with them. We make them feel like family, we make them feel loved, and also part of the community. Doc G also stressed that: “We need to be able to reach out to the other who comes along our path”. Proximity is not merely about the blood relation between two people but rather, what we can do for the “other”.
It takes some courage for a father to accept that his son will gradually grow into his own as a man. But seeing the day his boy surpasses him, might be the most rewarding achievement of a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteAnthony Perez
PH102 A
*surpass
ReplyDeleteWe truly are lucky to have parents who give us that kind of respect- it takes great courage to step back and just trust that your children have the ability to decide for themselves. It does, however, bring pride to the parents to know that they have raised their children well enough to believe that they are capable of making those decisions.
ReplyDeleteBea Antonio
PH102A
It's also important for us to realize that the Other does not only pertain to those people we know. Justice for the Other demands that we not only act on the plea of our friends, parents, etc. but also on the plea of the child begging for food on the street or the security guard asking for some holiday donations.
ReplyDeleteThomas Manalac
Ph102-A
That lesson struck me as well. I remember I chose BS Psychology when I first got here. But I wanted to shift to AB Psychology. I thought my mother would be upset that I wanted to change course but she told me: "You are old enough to know what you want." How those words stick to me unto this day. She has been supportive in everything we do.
ReplyDeleteMy mom never made us to be like her. She made us onto our own persons and I'm glad I get to decide what courses I want to take because she trusts us and accepts us for who we are.
Hokulea Cabrera
PH102-A
I'm glad that you found the right course for you, something that makes you happy. :) Unfortunately, for me, this wasn't the case. It was only when I quit on my former course that I became happy. It was also just then when my mom finally understood how much it was taking its toll on me. I know it hurt my mom when I changed my course, but I know to that she just wants me to be happy. Now, with the courses I'm currently taking, she has finally accepted them. I am blessed to have this kind of mother who finally understands and puts my happiness first before anything else.
ReplyDelete-M. Cua, Ph102 A
To add to your point on continuity in discontinuity, it's wrong to say that we got to where we are by ourselves. There are countless people in our lives, not just our parents and relatives, but also our teachers, our friends, even our household helpers, who helped us become who we are. By talking to them and getting to know them, we become like them. In each of us, there is the essence of the people who we encountered in our lives. This stays with us long after they're gone.
ReplyDelete-Alex Chua PH102A
The fact that you actually did what you wanted instead of simply following what they wanted took a lot of courage. Not everyone would have done the same because it's the harder path to take.
ReplyDeleteBut what makes this fascinating for me is how readily your father understood and accepted your decision. It reminded me of love, as defined by Levinas. In class I remember hearing something like, "Our relationship is not defined by what binds us but what makes us radically different."
Lica Lee
PH102 A