22 November 2012
Discussed text: Levinas, "There Is, Ethics and Infinity
You are woken up by your annoyingly effective alarm clock. You roll over to one side of the bed and reach for the snooze button. Five minutes later, you get up, brush your teeth, wash your face, and proceed to cooking breakfast. Once that’s done with, you take a shower, brush your teeth, and take a look at your face through the mirror. It looks the same as always. You go to school and come back home a few hours after. On some days, you go out with friends. On other days, you spend time with your girlfriend in your room. At the end of the day, you take a shower, brush your teeth, and take a look at your face through the mirror. It looks the same as always.
This may seem eerily familiar for some of you but for the longest time, this was how I lived, day in and day out, in my quiet apartment room. I’ve always been the type of person who prefers having a routine. After all, having a routine is safe and prevents you from having to go through burdensome things. I preferred simply drifting along, always trying not to disturb the flow of things. I was content.
Of course, a routine can only be maintained if all the elements that comprise it keep running. As soon as my relationship with one person ended, I got lost. A very big aspect of my everyday life had disappeared. In an effort to distract myself from how I was feeling, I decided to keep busy. I accepted work here and there. I took up projects here and there. I went to places I’ve never had the time to go to back then. I finally spent time with friends whose invitations I’ve always declined back then. In the past few weeks, I’ve met more people than I have ever had in the past year. Before I knew it, I was having so much fun that the reason I started doing all of those things no longer seemed relevant. I found one thing strange, however. With the way things are going right now, I am far from content. Every minute, I’m itching to do something new and to go places I have yet to see. I am discontented, I am dissatisfied, and yet, I am happy.
Surprisingly, I found my answer when Dr. Garcia started talking about il y a. As far as I could remember with my lousy attention span, he defined il y a as a lethargy, a lack of activity, and a lack of initiative. He described it as simply prodding along with no goal, no “star”, and no direction. Come to think of it, he used many words to paint what il y a is but the words that struck me the most were “lost” and “contentment”. How I felt finally made sense when he definitively said that contentment is not necessarily equal to happiness.
I was definitely content with how things were going back then. However, there was something at the back of my mind that bugged me from time to time. I had always brushed it off, ignoring it, and keeping it there, at the back of my head. Now, however, it all makes – I was unhappy. It’s ridiculous how it took me all this time to realize it. Perhaps, I may have already realized it long ago but was simply too afraid, simply too hesitant, and simply too comfortable. I was too comfortable with “il y a-ing” that I ignored my own unhappiness.
This may be what Dr. Garcia has always meant when he prays with the class, “Disturb us, O Lord”. As he had said earlier, perhaps the biggest temptation of man is the desire to not be disturbed. Perhaps, great disturbances are actually opportunities for us to get out of il y a, to get out of our routines, to get out of our contentment.
With that, I leave you a song that basically sums up what getting out of il y a is all about.
Hi Paul! I really identified with your entire blog post. Ever since I could remember, I've always had this intense fear of discomfort. I would always stick to what was comfortable for me, not knowing that I was actually standing in my own way. I always felt this tinge of sadness, and I could never pinpoint why I would feel this way. To distract myself from this feeling, I would do the opposite of what you would do, which was to keep yourself busy. Instead, I would let myself fall into a lazy lifestyle wherein I just did the things that I enjoyed and avoided challenges and disturbances altogether. And like you, I had this false feeling of contentment.
ReplyDeleteIt was really only when I took Sir Garcia's philosophy class that I ultimately realized that I had severe comfort addiction. I, too, was "ill y a-ing" all this time.
I soon realized that the times when I would be disturbed were also the times when I felt that I was growing as a person and also growing to love myself more. It is true that magic happens when you gather the courage to step out of your comfort zone.
Although it won't be easy, I believe that in time we and all those in "ill y a" will come to look forward to these disturbances as blessings in disguise and pray “Disturb us, O Lord” with our whole hearts. We can do it!
Joey Castro
PH102-A
I agree on how you described the truth about happiness and contentment because I've lived like that too. I always say, "whichever is fine", or "it doesn't matter if i do or don't". I've been always contented with what I have, for the most part, probably because I already have what I need and I never struggled to become more. I never tried to pursue learning to play the piano, or be good at a sport.. because I believed I already had everything I need - that it's not really necessary to go through the trouble of becoming more. I thought that why make an extra effort when I'm already doing fine?
ReplyDeleteThe idea of il y a, of being something, explains to us how to be more than just beings. We should be Being - act things out, make our presence felt, and grow out of just existing. Heidegger says we're already "thrown" in the world, meaning we are here and we're alive, but that doesn't mean we stop there. That's why he had this idea of human beings as "projects".. because we have so many possibilities and we shouldn't just let ourselves be. We have the possibility of becoming something more than how we were when we were first thrown in the world. And I think the concept of happiness starts there.. when we decide we want to be more than contented.
I honestly am a huge fan of routines. Wake up, go to class etc...It's only until last semester that I started to realize what FUN meant. I became a spontaneous person, almost saying YES to all the opportunities that my friends offered to me. I had fun getting to know them and laughed at the memories.
ReplyDeleteHowever, this semester is different. It seemed like what we had that first semester was temporary bliss. We are all now facing the dread of school work and we can't seem to get out of it. Until that one Friday night. Just last Friday, my friends and I jogged. Some of them left shortly afterwards to get ready for the Madhouse party. My friends, Yra and AJ, stayed behind. We were supposed to watch Wreck it Ralph, but it became late that we ended up eating at KFC for dinner. We stayed there for an hour and a half just talking about school and how we felt about it. I told them that I was physically in school but my mind wasn't. We went to DQ and met another friend of ours. We walked around Katipunan and guess what? Saw another friend of ours. We ended up going to a place and again, talk about life. We laughed and laughed and laughed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not used to having a routine anymore. I do my best to do well in studies but at the same time balance my spontaneity and go out at times. I don't want to be stuck in "il y a" all the time, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing to stay there some of the times but not often. :)
Hokulea Cabrera
PH102-A