I asked a question in class that I’m still thinking about 2 days after it was answered. The fox reminds us to be patient so we can “tame” him. This advice is also applicable to almost all relationships we are part of- be it as a friend, a lover, a conniver in all your marauding and being up to no good, and even as Catholic. This patience is required to get to know the Other, to try to understand their story, to begin to care and treasure the time spent with them. It pains and disturbs me to no end that such special relationships is in danger of being lost in the hundreds and thousands of all other possibilities. That the person in the elevator wearing a Dr. Who pin on her bag could have been on of your closest friends if only you asked whether the 11th doctor was their favorite or if they also watch Sherlock. Asking which can immediately create a special bond- you obsess over the same things and you can honestly teat this stranger like you’ve known each other since you were 12.
But you don’t. You don’t ask because you were scared of looking like a freak to the three other people in the elevator if the person ignores you or looks at you funny. Or maybe you were so anxious at looking at the speed of your descent because you didn’t want to be late for class that you didn’t even notice the pin. You then walk out of that elevator, one friend poorer.
So many other scenarios. So many other things that can close a vein of a beautiful possibility that could have grown and taken you to greater heights of being and living.
I want to curse it- this possibility of an impossibility. This pathos of being mortal. That there is such a limited time to explore the possibilities of all great relationships. Why can we push a button to filter all the possible “worthwhile” relationships and label them as such, making them not merely possibilities but eventualities.
Alas. This is as absurd as Adam Sandler’s life remote on Click. It’s an unfortunate reality we have to live in. Or is it?
Let us consider an alternative to our reality. Try rejecting what we have right now. Imagine a setting where we have an endless “supply” of time, where you can “sample” every possibility. Fleet through everyone and then decide whether they can be special or not. Suppose that were so, we can spend an eternity trying every flower in the world and never end up producing any good honey. You will not be able to cherish any of the memories you made because you’re confident, that fo sho, you can do it again, relive it again. One way or the other, down the infinite road ahead of you. And you live with that, with all the friends and non-friends in the world. What would that mean?
Nothing but bad honey. Or maybe like the thousand and so friends you have on Facebook.
We need the urgency of time. That everyday is a mystery, not a boring predictable eventuality. Every memory you make, cherished. Because you’ll never be 18 again, it’ll never be the same again. Living with the idea that “you only live once”, you try to make the most out of it. Even sometimes fee “tampo” because the Other didn’t show up because of other responsibilities, of other things that take up their time. It’s because we have a limited stretch in this world that we must choose to be responsible for the friendship you currently have with an acquaintance. Nevermind the girl with the pin. Don’t lament over it. It’s all theoretical, all the consequence of our mortality, of our ephemeral concrete existence. Instead, try to reconnect with an old friend. Maybe introduce them to Sherlock if you’re so grumped out about losing the friend in the elevator. Make your friends mean more than a million acquaintances. That’s what makes them special. Tell them how much you want to spend more time with them, tell them there’s so much more you can share together, so much more differences you can fascinate about.
Let them be THE Other. Not just another. (AW YEH WORDPLAY FO SHIZZLE).
