A Time When Imperfection Trumps Perfection

by Kate Bonamy

I've been having a bad week. I spent the first three days of my week studying for our statistics long test, and God knows how much I dislike that subject. I have a hard time understanding the different distributions, etc. Finally, test day came. I was a little bit confident, because the teacher said that the test would be easy. Indeed, it was. However, it was so frustrating that I made a careless crucial mistake at the beginning of the last number, which makes my solution the entire number completely wrong and worthless. For a moment, I thought that my time and efforts were wasted. I let go of that right away, because I have another LT coming up. That night, I visited my dentist. I was expecting her to inject anesthesia on me, because I knew it would be painful. She didn't. I hate pain- everyone does. Thursday came. I was late for my appointment with my tutee. I went to my car and found myself trapped in my parking space. I just learned how to drive recently, so I'm still kinda bad at it. Then I accidentally hit the car next to me. The guard came to get my name, etc. When I got to my tutee's house, I thought we would finish up soon, because I still had to study my exam and quiz the next day. Instead, I got home 8pm, tired, hungry, and depressed- totally not in the mood to study. Still, I studied a little. Friday came and I did not know what was going on with me. I felt like my mouth had a different brain from the rest of my body, as I had offended two of my three teachers that day. And those two offenses led my classmates to possibly hate or dislike me (more, if they already do). I apologized to my teachers, but I was already disheartened. It was so hard to study that day because of everything crappy that has been going on. i felt like it is never ending, and it just keeps coming. This is to the extent that I thought, "Is the bad luck even possible to happen in real life, or this is but a dream?"


Then I remembered what we had learned in Philosophy. It is emotions -joy, sadness, pain, etc. that make us confirm our existence. It confirms that this is not a dream, and this is my life. It is a bad week, but I would just have to be more optimistic about it. Then I thought that it wasn't all that bad for a number of reasons. Through everything, I had friends who never left my side. They continually try to understand and forgive me for my shortcomings. It may not be the most materialistically rewarding week. But I learned a lot. Also, I am glad that I existed. Just like our example in class, a hundred in your hand is better than a thousand in your mind. I can stay forever dreaming of a stress-free, perfect, and imaginary life, which I know will never come to happen, or I can live with what I already have and try to make the most out of it. Basically, a dream life does not exist. It is but a common dream- utopia. However, come to think of it, the life that is already in your hands is greater than the life in your head because that life actually exists. Moreover, that is the life that shaped you to be who you are. It may be inevitable to sometimes dream, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, more often, we have to live in the present and be contented with what we have. I guess what I really learned this reflection is that an imperfect but existent life is better than a perfect but imaginary one.

Body and Spirit, you are!

by Patrick Cruz

With a lot of things occupying our heads, most of the time we forget the most basic things that we should do. In our desire to accomplish as many things as possible in a given day so that we can relax later on, it seems that we have already forgotten to reach the hands of our parents whenever we come back from school, to kiss our grandparents, to have short conversations with our professors, to help children cross the street and so much more. On the other hand, even if some people still do these things, they may have done these out of routine, without any further clarification of what these actions mean to them.

So, I say, body is necessary, but not a sufficient condition for existence. Yes, necessary, but not sufficient. We have to have body in order for us to exist, but body is not simply and not only the condition. We still have our particular inwardness or depth in us that is expressed in every way through our body and we must make it realized. We act uniquely based on our spirit and it is from here that the meaning of our actions must be derived. This meaning to actions then immortalizes the actions themselves as it raises the physical expression into deeper spiritual one, with the I that lies within us-- who gets hurt but still remains grateful, who falls but still hopes and who gets weary but still chooses to be happy. However, as mentioned earlier, the body is still deeply significant because it serves not only as medium of expression, but as a part of that expression. Our body contributes to the unique expression of our being in this world.

Thus, body and spirit are mutually dependent with each other, making them an indissoluble unity. Body and spirit we must be. With these two totally unified, they create a much fuller expression of our being in this world. They allow us to desire more to be better persons—more loving, more forgiving, etc. They deepen more our participation in the greater whole and for the greater whole. Body and spirit, we must say Yes to Life and continually work at it.

Inconsistency of the Self

by Andrew Gallardo

The past week has not been an easy one for me. A lot of things happened. And once again, I let the time flew past me without cherishing some of the moments in it. Though right now I am not supposed to write how I long for a carefree life, or how I wish to live a day without worrying about any duties or obligations, for in reality, I have long accepted the truth that I have chosen this busy life, and consequently, the stressful lifestyle that comes along with it. Rather, I wish to share the actualization of the learning that I had from my philosophy class. The concept called the “Duality of Self” by Rene Descartes.

The “Duality of Self” concept ascertains that men are formed of two entities- that of the body called Res Extensa and the soul called Res Cogitans. It is the soul that is the indubitable “I”, and the body is the extension of this certain “I”. Now I would not reiterate and discuss all the points of Rene Descartes here, for with all certainty, I know a lot of people knows more than I do in terms of his Philosophy. But I am just perplexed at the mystery of this “dual” self- of how he tries to separate the concept of body and soul. Does that mean that a body and soul is distinct and separate? Can they live apart from each other? Is it possible to “live” even of just one of them is possessed?

And unexpectedly, amidst a normal day for a person with a lifestyle made out of routines, there was a sudden realization that made me understood this concept of “Dual self”. While doing my marketing paper past midnight last Thursday, when everyone at home were already sleeping (or at least I though they were for they were already in their rooms), there occurred in me an urge to sleep. My eyes were starting to close even though I do not will it to be. My body was already starting to relax on my soft bed even though my laptop was still on my lap. And I was starting to give in to the seduction of my body. Until I remembered my marketing paper. And I remembered how much effort our group exerted just to have even a little data for our paper. I could not let them down, I thought. They counted on me and for sure, they were doing their part too. But most of all, I could not let my parents down by giving them a failing or a barely passing grade despite all the efforts they exerted just to send me to a good school.

At that particular moment, I was lost within myself. I was caught in between of two wills of myself. A part of me wanted to sleep and relax even just for a night because I have been sleeping only for 5 to 6 hours for the past couple of days, but a part of me whispered that it is not the right thing to do at the moment. And perhaps this is the concretization of Descartes “Dual Self”. My body longs for a sleep, yet my soul reminds me of my obligation in this world.

Being limited as we are, perhaps we just have to live with this two wills inside of us. In this world, it is so easy to fall to bodily desires- sex, wealth, power and a lot of excessive vices. It is part of our imperfect being. Yet, we must, at least, seek and learn to balance these with the calling of our soul. I dare not to be adventurous and try to remove myself from this body so that I would no longer have bodily passions, wills or desires, for God knows how I love to live a life inside my comfort zone. And I honestly believe that these malicious desires do not all come from the body- there is an unexplainable calling too to fall out of these desires as much as there is a calling to do good. Perhaps the best that I can do is to just make these two being within me reconcile and unite in doing well. It is all about practice, maybe. And it would take time.

The Rifleman's Creed

by Justin Descallar





Last night, I was watching one of Hollywood’s greatest movies, The Fullmetal Jacket. It was a satirical movie about the Vietnam War and US military culture at that time. At one point in the film the marines under Sergeant Major Hartmann was preparing to sleep, they climbed up their bunks and braised their rifles as if they were hugging them. After that, they began to recite the Rifleman’s Creed. 
“This is my rifle. There are many like it, and this one is mine”
This line made me remember about our lesson of the on the body and of the mind, a topic which is I am racking all my wits against to fully conceptualize. This might be an erroneous description of the topic but perhaps the experience of it is similar. Using the similarity of the experience of having rifle maybe I can approach the feeling of what it is to be fully aware of the subjectivity of my body. Similar to the rifle of the marines in the film, I have a body. There are many other human bodies like this, but this one is mine. Ever since I was born, I am with my body. At first, I did not know who he was. But as I traversed through life with it I began to realize his characteristics. I realized that he did not like to exercise and he was physically weak. Even if “I” know that I can do more, he just wouldn’t run. I, the ever enthusiastic consciousness had to wait for my body to pick himself up. The next lines struck me more.
“My rifle, without me, is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless.”
Without my body, I am useless. I cannot proclaim my existence and be self-aware of the things around me. I cannot run, function and do the things that I love without him. Hence, I have to work out a working agreement with him so we can function well in life. I promised him to sleep a good eight hours a day in exchange of all the abuse that he would have to endure when I am in class, at the playground, and everywhere else my lackadaisical self would want. We would eat a healthy meal three times a day so he could have the sustenance to carry on. However, these feeling of care is not one sided. I know that my body also looks out for me and realized my importance. Without me, he wouldn’t be able to humanly exist similar to that I cannot without him. He tells me when I am in pain and see the world both literally and figuratively.He takes care of me allowing himself to be directed and used so that together we might truly live.
“My rifle and I know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit...”
Without my body, I cannot truly philosophise and truly love the sophon. I cannot find my place in the natural order in the universe. Without each other, he and I cannot reach our full potential. Hence, we have to stick together.
“My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life.”
This line made me remember the relationship between my body and my mind. Without my body, I cannot truly be human because there is no divide between my body and mind. “I” is not only my consciousness but of the oneness of my body and of my mind. Now I am at a crossroads. In this train of thought, I have been trying to treat my body as a subject as the marines have treated their rifles. I have tried to create a bond with my body similar to that of my bond with other humans. However, there is a mistake in my reasoning. By construing my body as a person, I am separating it from myself but there should be no gap. My body is not my bestfriend. He is I. Now I am back to square one. 
In all honesty, I’m really having a hard time construing my mind and my body as having no gap or being “one”. When I revisited this poem from Full Metal Jacket, I had an insight on maybe what Marcel was trying to talk about. Perhaps this is not the most accurate description of the subjectivity of the human person as being both in mind and body but I am getting closer. Am I?

Am I Doing This Right?

by Adrian Bautista

25 September 2012

Discussed text: Gabriel Marcel, The Mystery of Being


Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, silently watching the cursor blink as if it was made to entertain me, while taking glances at the window filled with city lights that flicker about, illuminating the night sky. Then I wonder, how am I supposed to start this blog post?

To be clear though; obligation is not my motive as to why I am here. Such feelings of worry and hesitation embrace me as I think of what to write here. I worry that what I think might not be the thoughts relevant and appropriate enough for this site, and this is the reason of my hesitation. Questions of anxiety fill my thoughts. What if I don't understand anything at all? What if the way I understood readings isn't the way it is supposed to be done? What if I fail to gather my thoughts and express them accordingly, making this post a clutter of words no one will be able to understand?

These feelings of distress, I know that I am not the only one who feels the same way, especially every time we ought to start or experience something new. We tend to question the certainty of such events, as to whether we should do it or not, and what are the ways we can be successful, coming across these instances. Think of the nights you lay in bed during summer vacation or semestral break, waiting for sleep to visit you, wherein your thoughts were about the upcoming semester. There maybe are times where you are at unease, thinking what should you do with these core subjects that are irrelevant to your course, or hoping that this class you signed up for has a mentor with the kindness of a thousand angels, enough to give you a grade that will make your parents increase your allowance. What is essentially being stated is that there are times where, in a way, detach ourselves from the experience and try to see it in another way besides actually experiencing it.

As I go back to my dilemma of how to write this post, maybe it is time that I go tell myself, "Why don't you just write it?" The same goes whenever we have these feelings of doubt regarding experiences in our lives, and probably things will just happen before we know it, like how this post reached its length. Instead of looking at another way to "experience experience", maybe this is what Marcel means (or as how I understand) to set aside the questions and bring about the immediacy of the situation itself, and how it affects us; what meaning does/will this experience bring to our lives. And as I take a sip of coffee and stare at the city streets of Marikina through my window, writing this post, I set aside all those questions of worry and hesitation, and feel the warmth of the coffee as it goes down my throat and as the lights of the houses and buildings enlighten my view, I say: here I am.

Who Am I?

by Bambi San Pedro

Reflection on the first Ph 101 Plenary

By now, each one of us must already be able to define what Philosophy really is. In my own understanding, Philosophy helps someone in dealing with the questions that he encounter as he tries to discover who he really is as a person. However, another important question to pour our thoughts into is “What are we trying to do when we do Philosophy?”

In every single day of our lives, day-in day-out, we follow a specific pattern. But in this certain rhythm, we don’t bother to reflect that much, until something happens. This “something” is called a “Break Situation”, or when the normal run of things come to a halt. It is during these times when we question ourselves about the what’s and why’s of this life. What should be my next move? Why this instead of that one? Why me and not her? And sometimes, these break situations might catch us off-guard when they happen in extremes – bankruptcy, failure, death. These are the moments when what we’re holding onto slips from our lives. As for students like us, it might be getting kicked out from the Ateneo with only just 0.5 lacking in the retention QPI. It is this kind of instances that our self-esteem gets affected. The ground of our notion of something gets broken, and we, in turn, break down.

An Extreme Break Situation may be classified as either a Painful Wonder or a Joyful Wonder. In either situation, we look at life as a whole. Right now, we already know that the world is charged with the wonder of God. But, knowing is different from experiencing. When we experience, we are gifted with that “Aaahhh!!” moment, usually the breath-taking ones.

As a science, Philosophy is not one of those that study the human person. Biology deals with the study of the living organism. Sociology deals with the study of the development, structure and functioning of the human society. Psychology deals with the study of the human minds and its function. As for Philosophy, it particularly studies the human phenomenon in the whole of reality. It doesn’t deal with what it means to be human, but what it means to be.

In discovering one’s self, a lot of questions have to be cleared up before he figures out what kind of person he really is. What does it mean to be a human being? What does it mean to be? What does it mean to be me? And finally, Who am I? Then, ask yourself this question, “What does it mean to be myself in the face of others?”

During the talk, Mr. Calasanz retold two different stories about two famous names. He mentioned an instance in St. Augustine’s life when his bestfriend died. The worse part is that their friendship ended in a quarrel, meaning they were not in good terms even before. So when it dawned to him that he has really lost his bestfriend, he goes out in search for his soul and later realized that without his bestfriend, life has no meaning. Here, St. Augustine was dealing with the death of the one he loved, when he came into the question, Who am I? The second story he shared was about Descartes life. He was a man who had a lot of questions about certainty, since a lot of scientific facts are criticized by enumerable brilliant minds. The questions that he usually had to deal with were, How can I be sure? Can I be sure of anything? Can I hold my ground somewhere? And these are also our questions and problems in this time. One common experience among teenagers like ourselves is when we doubt our dad’s words, like when he tells us that he’s going to a conference for a couple days (but the idea of him meeting up with his mistress, crosses our minds).
Reflection might seem easy because the thought flows freely. However, the difficulty comes in when things are so simple that there’s nothing there to breakdown. Thus, Dualism comes in.

Dualism means that this “thinking” is simply thinking. It has no body; it simply thinks. All these things can be doubted. BUT on the other hand, the “act of thinking” is that one thing you can be sure of. One cannot doubt that he’s doubtingbecause it is an act of doubting in itself. Also, one cannotdoubt that he is thinking, because it is an act of thinking in itself. That’s why there is a saying, “I think therefore I am.” And this cliché leads back to the question, Who is this “I”?

In order to fully understand the answer, one must experience HIS body – his own proper body. It’s his. The experience of the “I”, or the self, can only be done by him. No one else can be in his place. This is the only radical solitude that every human being has. One cannot be distinguished from his own body. This self is not a disembodied self rather this self is a body. It cannot go unnoticed. He IS his body. Where his body is, there he is. Just as when his body gets hurt, he also gets hurt. And in the same way, one cannot be identified with the body. There is a separation and ambiguity. He HAS his body. Therefore, he cannot be reduced into his body.

And for Mr. Calasanz’s last point, he explained the thread of facticity and transcendence. Because he IS his body, he is facticity. Facticity came from the word “facturate”, meaning something that is given, or “yari na”. Therefore, it is not something you can decide upon or choose, sort of like one’s genetic makeup. It is not the person’s fault if he is stingy, bipolar or unattractive. All these constitute the spark of who he really is. As for transcendence, it refers to crossing over or going beyond. It provides the answer to the question, What do I do with the given’s, once I realize it? In other words, it shows that what one does with the given’s, is not a given. This leaves a space for choice, a space for creating meaning, a space for reorienting facticities. This facticity is the original source of pain, burden, limitation and woundedness. Transcendence gives that person the act of ownership. This means that he has the capacity to turn this Painful Wonder into a Joyful Wonder. On that account, Philosophy then is trying to see things in the perspective of the totality as a whole.

Discovering who “I” am is seeing that this body is an embodied self and not an abstract one.