On Service, Reciprocity, and Hope

by Astrid Ocampo

19 February 2013
Discussed Text: Levinas, "Responsibility," Ethics and Infinity


Just recently, I ran for office in the Sanggunian as SOSS Chairperson. Despite several setbacks and trials, the vision of seeing a much more promising student council with the ultimate aim of empowering the students to fully become the Ateneans that they really should become (along with other goals that the Sanggu has really been pushing for) never left me. It was, fundamentally, for service that pushed me to doing, by far, one of the riskiest and boldest things that I have done in my college life.

Much to my dismay, however, I lost. In fact, almost everyone did. Barely anyone reached quota, and all the top positions are left vacant for the lack of votes we garnered. Tragedy struck the Sanggunian having to be exposed to the cruel fact that the School of Social Sciences will function from this point up to the special elections next year without any school board. It was excruciatingly terrifying and alarming to see how certain conditions have to drastically manifest to this. It definitely served as a wake-up call, but more so it also served as base for contemplation and discernment.

Having been involved in this very heartbreaking situation, I fully realized how far rejection can go. I learned how much you can become so committed to something just to make somebody feel happy and content; and despite the refusal to expect anything in return, it still shatters you because it’s as if none of what you have done ever mattered. That nothing was ever enough no matter how hard you push yourself to satisfy the needs of the person you care about most. That there still lacks a certain appreciation or acknowledgment from the other party enough to make you feel that it all leads somewhere.

But I have also realized how that it just doesn’t stop there. That despite the fall, there will always be that lingering feeling to help. That there will always be that reflexive need to express responsibility over the Other, no matter how difficult it is. Although it seems rather sadist to still want to do something despite the lack of reciprocity, having a certain hope and knowing that at some point it still benefits the Other however oblivious he/she is of it, it is already sufficient. That the very thought that you helped and have been helping, whichever way you possibly can, is already one of the most remarkable things you could live with.

And in these principles, I am already at ease. Despite the loss, I never stopped wanting to still be of service. And I know Sanggu’s not the only means to doing that: indeed, I am still going to work for the student council (and I would have to say I really look forward to it), but my organization, MEcO, and several avenues are ways in which I can fully express that desire to still help other people out. And I wouldn’t have felt this if it weren’t for the many others who have also been sharing the same ambitions and sentiments-- for my friends who have been blessed in this year’s elections, for my colleagues who have been defeated by certain circumstances, and for other peers who have shown the dedication to work even in the most pressing times just to assure that the people they serve are happy.

Seeing how prominent this still is has given me so much hope. It’s rejuvenating to see how so many people are still mindful of the welfare of others, and how they are so willing to sacrifice a lot of things exactly for that. It’s really touching to witness how these people exert dignity into their work, not just to provide meaning for their own sake, but also because they find it in their heart to enjoy what they do so the people they care for will enjoy the fruits of it just the same. In this sense, I have become fully aware of the idea of responsibility for the Other as part of human nature-- that it’s an ultimate purpose that just needs to be tapped out of each and every one of us.

For this, I have been equipped with so much optimism. Drawing inspiration from these people and even from the very experiences I have been exposed to, I have learned that whatever struggles that will come my way, I still have to keep moving forward and keep doing the things I need to be doing. Not for me, but for those who surround me.

Because it’s not just about the self, it’s always all about and for the Other.